Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Something fishy going on?

Lee took me to the fishing warehouse this morning for a jolly Saturday shopping trip. I reckoned he deserved it after years of putting up with waiting for me in Topshop, jangling small change in his pockets and trying to look interested in headscarves, bangles and culottes. I was surprised at this big warehouse, men standing outside waving fishing rods around testing out and showing off their new toys. Inside, men in groups stood happily discussing the perfect fishing spots or wandered around joyfully pondering lines and waders. It was like the male equivalent of Accessorize sparkly goods enticing and exciting the customers. Never before have I seen men so happy in a retail environment. On the downside, I felt like a fish out of water excuse the bad joke, but it's true, I was the only woman in there without a Barbour jacket or a bobbly fleece. Remember ladies, just because it's outdoor wear, doesn't mean that we have to sacrifice style now, do we?

My favourite aisle was the fly section. Hundreds of clear compartments filled with flies that are surprisingly beautiful miniature works of art. On closer inspection, I noticed that these fake insects are divided into different categories with very strange names. We have the 'boobies', the 'nymphs' and the 'muddlers'. These weird names become more complicated and are similar to those strange pedigree dogs at Crufts. (e.g., Champion Sir Bobby Bouffant of the Kidderminster Harriet's) There are 'hothead nymphs', 'bugger lures' and my personal favourite 'boobies with attitude'. Believe me, it's the place to be if you still laugh at Carry On films. In fact, it made me think of my best friend, a girl with a compulsion for double entendres in a kind of 'oooh matron' way. If she had been there we would have heard dirty jokes about rods, tackle and boobies. And I wish she had been with me, to share my immature amusement.

The fishing warehouse is full of men who are happy in their habitat, relaxed and at one with their inner man and ready for the outdoor world. This could be the ideal place for a single gal. Head down to your local fishing shop wearing your cute retro 'fishing champion' t-shirt, arm yourself with a few cheeky comments and go catch yourself a man. After all, what's so unappealing about being an auld fishwife?


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