Crush

I hate to admit it, but I have a crush on Sawyer from Lost. It goes against my usual principles of attraction so I feel terribly guilty. I swore that I'd never fancy bad boys, and he's the baddest you can get. I had a dream last night that I was an actress and was taking off my stage make-up when in walked Sawyer. "Ma-am," he drawled, "I'm afraid I can't let you walk back to your trailer alone, it's too dangerous out there. Let me escort you." I melted. I mean, I'm an aspiring writer and I'm suffering from severe Mills and Boon love sickness. What a cliched dream! I blame it all on last week....

I was watching Lost with Lee, I had quite a good rhythm going with my knitting and all of a sudden I blurted out "Shut it Sawyer, just take your top off." My excuse is that I was so relaxed with my knitting that I could not control my mouth. I am in fear of my own actions. I thought I'd bypassed all that laddette behaviour that results in ASBOs or community service. What next - car theft following a Buckfast booze binge? Obviously, Lee was quite shocked and asked "Why are you not asking me to take my top off?". Rudely, I poked his belly button with my knitting needle. "That's why." "Ha," he responded, "who do you think you are? Linda fucking Lusardi?" And with that we burst into fits of laughter. That has got to be the best insult I've ever received. And after all, who other than a reader of the Sun newspaper during the 1980s would know who the hell Linda Lusardi was?